Christmas Spirit: What if You Don’t Feel It?

Charlie Brown: “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.”

Does that Charlie Brown quote describe you? I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling unhappy, especially during a season that’s usually portrayed as joyful and festive. Christmastime also brings reflection, which can stir up memories of loss, grief, or pain. Consequently, a sense of Christmas spirit can be fleeting or non-existent for some.

Even though Christmas is supposed to be a joyous time of year, it can be tough when you’re feeling down. Trust me, I’ve been there. How can you get into the Christmas spirit when you feel hopeless, disappointed, sad, or just dreading the holiday altogether? It’s pretty hard to avoid the Christmas season when you see holiday decorations and hear Christmas music everywhere.

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone—many people find this time of year challenging for various reasons. Whether it’s because of the absence of a loved one, changes in family dynamics, or just the end to a challenging year, this season can weigh heavily on our hearts.

The holidays can magnify feelings of loneliness or depression, in particular. But there are ways to cope and find some comfort. Sometimes, even small activities can make a big difference, like taking a walk, or doing something that you usually enjoy, to get your mind off your troubles.

Counting down to the “12 Days of Christmas,” here are a dozen suggestions that you can try to help lift your Christmas spirit and bring some joy to the season:

Reach out to someone. Sometimes talking to a friend, relative, or church member can make a big difference. If you don’t feel like telling them about your feelings, that’s okay—just having a chat about anything can help.
Engage in activities you enjoy. Whether it’s reading a book, watching a movie, listening to your favorite music, or indulging in your favorite food, doing something that you love can provide comfort and distraction.
Do something creative. Engage in a creative hobby like drawing, painting, baking, or crafting. These activities can be a therapeutic, relaxing, and uplifting way to spend time.
Volunteer or help others. The true spirit of Christmas comes from the joy of giving back to your community, loved ones, and friends. Helping people can restore your sense of purpose and connection. If you can make someone else’s Christmas special, it will hopefully make you feel a little bit better. And by focusing on others who may be worse off than you, you may stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Get a pet. Pets offer unconditional love and companionship, which can reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Simply petting or playing with an animal can release oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and relaxation.
Try mindfulness or relaxation techniques. Deep breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, or tai chi can help you feel more grounded and calm.
Exercise. Exercise has numerous benefits for managing depression. Physical activity stimulates the production of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, while providing a healthy distraction from negative thoughts and feelings.
Go outside. Fresh air and a change of scenery can do wonders to clear your mind and improve your mood. Go for a hike, sledding, or just a stroll in a local park to enjoy the winter scenery. Even a short walk in nature can have a positive effect on your mood.
Start a new hobby. Hobbies can be a creative, relaxing, fulfilling way to spend time. Browse in a hobby store and see what beginner kits they have on sale for Christmas. Pick one and go for it!
Treat yourself. Do something nice for yourself, whether it’s enjoying a special treat, taking a long bubble bath, or going to the movies. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—just something that feels special to you.
Practice gratitude. Take a moment to reflect on things you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Writing them down in a journal can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Plan for the future. Think about something you can look forward to, whether it’s a trip, a new hobby, or a personal goal. Having something positive to anticipate can help you get through a bad time.

BONUS TIP: Start a New Tradition!

Creating a new tradition, especially if it’s to make up for something you’ve lost, can be a good way to bring renewed joy and meaning to the holiday season. Do something completely different and make that your new Christmas tradition. Remember, the most important part of a tradition is that it brings happiness and creates lasting memories.

Here are some ideas to help you get started:

Christmas Movie Marathon. Pick a few favorite holiday movies and enjoy a cozy night on the couch in your flannel pajamas with some popcorn, hot cocoa and Christmas cookies.
Holiday Baking. Choose your favorite recipe, like cookies or muffins, and give them to friends and neighbors. Make another batch for yourself!
Giving Back. Volunteering for a cause that’s close to your heart, such as Toys for Tots or the annual Audubon Christmas Bird Count, can make the holidays feel more meaningful.
Secret Santa. Find a needy family, single mom, or lonely widow in your community and treat them to a Christmas surprise. You might be the one to restore their Christmas spirit.
Perform Acts of Kindness. For each of the “12 Days of Christmas,” perform a random act of kindness. Even small acts of kindness can make a big difference. It could be as simple as shoveling a neighbor’s driveway.
Outdoor Adventure. Get away from the commercialism of Christmas and instead go out and enjoy the great outdoors. Take a road trip, spend the holiday at a ski lodge, or camp and hike if you live in a warm climate.
Go to Church. A Christmas Eve service is a great time to start going to church. Lots of people will be there and you can blend in with the crowd so you don’t feel so out of place.
Read the Bible. Let this be the year that you begin reading the Bible from cover to cover, or at least the New Testament. This is the love story of God sending his son Jesus to redeem humanity, which is what Christmas is all about. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6). Jesus Himself said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

Best wishes for a Merry Christmas. Trust that God is near to comfort you and heal your heart this Christmas. We pray that Jesus will bring you peace so you can finally find that elusive Christmas spirit. 🙂