Marriage And College: Or How To Combine Studying With Family Life?

By Lori Wade

It’s a pity, but more people nowadays choose study and career over family and vice versa. This article is to help you combine both, making use of all the perks of education and family life.

#1 Set Goals

You should totally understand why you are challenging yourself so much. Write down all your goals: personal, social, connected with your family – everything you want to achieve in your life. Prioritize them. Break long-term goals into the steps. You can also find the things you want to do every day and those you want to do at least once in your life. Such an exercise will show you whether you are going the right way now.

#2 See the Final Result and Work on It

Thinking that you want to study for the sake of studying is motivating enough. But be a realist. A family is a great responsibility, so your studies should be aimed at something. Otherwise, it’s not worth compromising your relationship. For example, if you want to run your own business after graduation or find a job after your own heart, start to work on it now. Get all the knowledge and skills you need for it and pay less attention to those that are not necessary.

#3 Talk to Your Spouse

First of all, you need to discuss your decision to get an education. If you get married, when you are studying, this will not be a problem. But this is not the only topic to discuss. The more you talk, the easier it is for you to maintain a loving relationship. Say what bothers you and ask for advice, when needed. Listen.

#4 Master Your Time Management

Combining studying, family and, God forbid, work is like being a juggler. Only those, who know how to do it right, can do it. Managing your time wisely in an indelible part of doing it right. Write lists. Use planners. Go to bed and wake up earlier. Avoid distractions. And note that it is not possible to do everything at once.

#5 Use Different Tools to Optimize Your Productivity

There are different tools and techniques to organize each sphere of your life and combine all of them wisely. You can find those to help you with your household, studying, raising kids, etc.

#6 Organize Your Studying Space

Isn’t it nice to start working right when you need to? Organizing your studying space will allow you to think more clearly, to get focused quicker and to avoid procrastination. If you don’t know how to do it right, or you don’t feel motivated enough to do it, use your Instagram and Tumblr accounts to help you. You will definitely find pictures with great ideas. Besides, your family doesn’t need extra mess in the house.

#7 Write Down Why People Appreciate You

To feel good about yourself, you need to be successful in all spheres of life. When you try to combine studying and family, you often start to overestimate one thing, while underestimating another. Write down all your roles: in the family, at college or university, in your social life and so on. Try to find reasons why people like you as a husband or a wife, as a student, as a friend, etc. You will feel better about everything you do.

#8 Convince Yourself That You Have the Right to Study

Somehow, we consider our studying to be a personal desire and a personal achievement. That is why we feel guilty that we spend so much time at college or university. Please, mind that your personal development is beneficial for your family too because makes you a more interesting person.

#9 When You Have Kids

Two options are possible here: either you have kids when you are studying, or you start studying when you already have kids. One way or another, your children are an enormous responsibility! Even your marriage can be set back, not only your courses. On the other hand, think about your children’s future. Will your studying be useful for them? Will it help you provide for them? If the answers are ‘yes,’ don’t hesitate for a moment!

#10 Fight a Super Mom Syndrome

Mass-media tries to convince us that it is possible to be a Super Mom. Different organizational systems try to raise some. Read between the lines. Being a Super Mom means making your family happy, not being a multitasking cyborg. Men can have a Super Dad syndrome, too. But for them, it means that they should provide for their family – in other words, earn a lot of money. If you have to study, maybe, it is time for your wife to work a little harder. For now. But think of the potential. Education can bring you more money afterward. So, these difficulties are temporary in most cases.

#11 Don’t Be Shy to Ask for Help

It is obvious when you have kids. Ask your parents to sit with the kids you once in awhile. Allow yourself to have a nanny, if you can afford it. But even if you don’t have kids, you may still need help sometimes: with your household, transportation, finance, etc. The family should operate as a team, so don’t try to do anything on your own, especially when you are studying.

#12 Don’t Complain to Your Teachers

Surprisingly enough, your teachers may have families too. Moreover, they have to work and learn new things every day to become a better professional. So, your complaints about the lack of time can annoy your teachers greatly.

#13 Spend Quality Time

Doesn’t matter much how long you are with your family. The main point is what you do during that time. Staring at the smartphones in the same room is not the family time. Try to find activities that will involve all the family members to make your family life more interesting.

#14 Be Romantic… But Not Too Much

Kind of the family time too, right? Romance is a very important part of our lives. People get used to the fact that one day the romantic mood disappears, especially if you have something else on your mind, like studying. Some of us are ok with it. Others get depressed, which leads to cheating and divorces. Try to keep the fire burning. But don’t overreact, because it shows that you feel guilty.

#15 Find the Time for Your Friends

People have to communicate. You can’t stay in all the time studying and working on our own. Inevitably, it will lead to passive aggression. Socialize. Spending time with friends will distract you from your family troubles, caused by studying and other factors. You can do it together with your spouse and kids or on your own. Anyway, it will strengthen your family.

#16 Be Happy

A happy wife is a happy life. Men should not underestimate feeling happy either. Duties without positive thinking are catastrophic not only for your mental health but your family relations as well.

So, now you know all the secrets of combining your family life with an overwhelming world of education. Remember that there is nothing impossible and your life can be fulfilled and happy, even if you have various duties to cope with.