Homeschooling Teen

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Honest Advice with Sugar and Spice

By Olyvea and Ethan

Olyvea Pancerella and Ethan Faulkes answer questions on homeschooling, dating, and life in general. Olyvea says, “One of the most unique things we can contribute is male and female perspectives on questions and ideas.” Send them your questions at polyvea@gmail.com.

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Question 1

Hi,

I met this guy several months ago and he’s super sweet, funny, and smart. As you have probably guessed, I like him a lot. The problem is: I can’t figure out if he likes me. He’s told me he likes me and I said it back, but he’s always sending mixed signals. One day he’ll be sweet and flirty and the next he’ll barley look at me. Some mornings he’ll text me “Good morning, beautiful” and others I can’t get him to call me back. If he likes me so much why is he so inconstant? Is he a player? Is he saying these things to every girl on the block and that’s why he doesn’t have time to be consistently flirty? I’ve had this issue with other guys too and I just ignored it, but I really like this one. How do I deal with this?

Please help,

Dumbfounded.

Olyvea,

Honestly, I’ve had this problem with guys a lot. I don’t really know the answer. I think guys have a very one track mind, and if they’re busy with something else they don’t have the time to be flirty right at that moment. As girls we don’t really understand and we think about the worst case scenario. We sit there and worry that they don’t like us anymore, they found another girl, they were just leading us on. The whole time we’re freaking out the guy is running from zombies on a video game. Maybe Ethan has a little more insight on this issue.

Ethan,

As guys it depends on our mood. We’re not robots and we’re not going to do the same thing everyday. Also sometimes we want the girl to text us good morning instead of us always doing it. Girls don’t always show whether or not they like something we do, so we don’t know if we are just bothering them. If he’s texting you good morning and being flirty he probably likes you. Guys just aren’t very consistent and that doesn’t always have anything to do with you. You could always just talk to him and see how he really feels about you.

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Question 2

Hello,

My two best friends, Lets call them A and B, and me have been friends for ages and I am very close to both of them. I met them when we were little and, even though I’m home schooled now, we’re still friends. They are like my sisters. Well, over this past school year A started hanging out with the “popular” kids. It sort of feels like one of those bad high school movies. I was OK with her hanging out with them. I mean if she can be popular and cool why shouldn’t she? But my friend B felt like she was thought she was better than us and abandoned us. I tried reminding her that A still hung out with us sometimes. She just has other friends now too, but B just wouldn’t listen. She never said anything to A all school year and tension just kept building. Until during the last week of school she finally told A off. So, now it’s summer and I feel like they may never get it resolved since they don’t have to talk or see each other. I feel pressured to pick a side and I don’t want to because I see where they’re both coming from. How to I stay friends with both of them and help them resolve this so things can go back to normal?

Sincerely,

I just want peace

Olyvea,

You have to refuse to pick a side. If you want to stay friends with them both you need to make sure you’re completely neutral. If one of them starts talking badly about the other you have to tell her that you don’t gossip and that you don’t want to talk badly about a friend. They may work things out or they may not. You have to be clear with them that they are both your friends, and you aren’t going to choose one over the other.

Ethan,

I agree, you can be friends with both of them, but you can’t let yourself be pulled into their battle. I have two friends that don’t like each other and I’ve been able to stay friends with them both. I take the approach that gossiping isn’t Christian and I refuse to participate. Hopefully, your friends will resolve their issues, but if they don’t you don’t have to pick one over the other.

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Question 3

Hey, O&E

For my sixteenth birthday my best friend gave me a really pretty and expensive necklace I always wanted. She saved up a long time for it and it really was so amazing of her to do that for me. Then a few days ago the chain broke and I lost the charm on it. I’m so afraid to tell her because she spent so much time and money getting it. I feel horrible. What do I do? I don’t have enough money to replace it and pretend it never happened. I’m trying to save up to replace it, but it’s going to take me awhile. I’ve avoided hanging out with her right now because I don’t want her to notice I’m not wearing it anymore.

Please help,

A terrible friend

Olyvea,

You have to be honest with her and come clean. Make sure she knows how sorry you are and how much that necklace meant to you. Let her know that you’re saving up to replace it, but it’s going to take you awhile. She’ll forgive you.

Ethan,

She’ll forgive you. If she put that much thought and money into a gift you’re obviously special to her. She isn’t going to hate you over an accident. Don’t try to hide it just be honest and open about what happened.

Until next time,

Olyvea and Ethan

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Olyvea Pancerella and Ethan Faulkes are both 16 and both going into 11th grade. Olyvea has been homeschooled since first grade and Ethan has been homeschooled since third grade. Email any questions to: polyvea@gmail.com

 

 

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