“It’s not what they did to you, it’s what they should have done, that you need to forgive.” ~Mykey Robinson, author, speaker, and counselor
Cheaper Than Therapy is a simple self-help guide that’s easy to read and it’s definitely much cheaper than therapy! I totally agree with the author who says, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but WORDS WILL OFTEN HURT YOU. Just because you can’t see a bone sticking out doesn’t mean you’re not hurt.”
I’ve learned from experience that an untended emotional wound can not only fester internally, but it can be triggered again by something else, causing those feelings to come back and haunt you years later.
Now I’m going to come right out and say it: I have trouble forgiving certain people, like someone I thought was a friend – a Christian friend – who betrayed me and turned her back on me. You know when you get a knot in your stomach every time you think about that person or that situation? Or you avoid the person in real life, and yet lay awake at night thinking about how awful they are?
Although intrigued by the idea that even the apostle Paul had false friends who shunned him when he needed them most, all of the sermons I listen to about forgiveness go in one ear and out the other. So when I heard about Mykey Robinson’s new book, Cheaper Than Therapy: How to Forgive and How to Trust Again, I was eager to read his thoughts on the topic.
How about you, would you rather punch someone than forgive them? Or do you really want to forgive but can’t seem to? Forgiveness is an important part of being able to deal with issues and heal from past hurts, but it’s easier said than done. If you find forgiveness to be a hard pill to swallow, then this book is for you.
Cheaper Than Therapy isn’t a dry manual written by a know-it-all psychologist, but rather a down-to-earth guide written by someone who has “been there, done that,” and truly understands how you feel. The author even provides examples from his own life experiences. Mykey says, “I’ve been learning about how to forgive for many years now. As I was doing this I came up with my own take on it, and thought I might write it all down, to help people.”
We all have challenges and conflicts in relationships – whether it’s families, friends or co-workers. Forgiveness is the life skill we need to help us get through them. And if trusting people makes you fearful and anxious but you can’t quite put your finger on the reason, it could be because you’ve been hurt by people you loved in the past. With the help of this book, you’ll not only be able to identify who, what, how and when, but you’ll also be able to maximize your chance of letting go of the past and moving on with your life.
According to Mykey, forgiving is an art – there are no guaranteed, “secret” formulas that provide a “miracle cure” for everyone. But using his technique gives you a practical, step-by-step way of dealing with how to forgive and if/when to reconcile. (Forgiveness and reconciliation don’t necessarily go together.) He walks through the entire journey for anyone who is finding it difficult to get rid of past hurts and to forgive someone who caused them pain. Mykey doesn’t just gloss over the surface, either, but tackles the issue at the root.
Cheaper Than Therapy is divided into three sections:
Section 1: Chapters 1-4: What is Forgiveness and Why Should We Do it?
The first section concentrates on learning what forgiveness is, understanding why we need to do it, finding a motivation to forgive, setting some clear goals of what it looks like when we succeed, and getting our hearts and heads to get work together.
Section 2: Chapters 5-7: How to Forgive
The next three chapters lay out a practical step-by-step forgiveness process. This section looks at how people owe us “debts,” and what to do to get rid of these permanently. Our underlying assumptions sometimes need to be altered for us to learn how to trust again, and different relationship types owe us different types of debts.
Section 3: Chapters 8-10: How to Reconcile
These chapters look at assessing the risks of reconciling with a person, types of abuse, how to tell whether they’re genuinely repentant, the factors to consider when seeking justice, how to approach people to seek reconciliation, and how to increase our chances of success if and when we want it to happen.
Whether or not you actually seek reconciliation, to be truly at peace you need to forgive those who have hurt you. But the person doesn’t deserve forgiveness you say? Well, Mykey does a good job of busting some of the misconceptions about why and how we should forgive – and it doesn’t mean we have to say that what they did or said to us was okay. While forgiveness can be pretty hard to do, the irony is that your hatred and anger toward others end up hurting you a lot more than it hurts them.
Mykey says, “Essentially, forgiveness is a means to an end, not an end in itself. If the whole point were to forgive, it wouldn’t really give us much incentive. But there are massive benefits that come with real forgiveness. If we can forgive, we have the chance to gain access to these benefits.” The process of forgiveness can help you to overcome anger, anxiety, fear, depression, insomnia, and stress, ultimately enabling you to live a fuller life.
Cheaper Than Therapy is packed with humor, practical tips, simple illustrations, and exercises — and it’s filled with stories of regular people just like you with everyday problems that you can relate to. Recommended for people who have tried to forgive someone, perhaps even done counseling, but still can’t quite bring themselves to the point of forgiveness. Read this book and turn it into your own personal therapy session by keeping a journal of your progress and doing the chapter exercises. The book can even be used as a small group study.
Cheaper Than Therapy is an invaluable manual for anyone struggling with real life conflict situations regardless of age, background, or belief. While reading this book, you may be surprised by some of the things that you learn about forgiveness and about yourself. Even if you don’t want to forgive “that person,” you may actually find yourself changing your mind. You and all of your relationships will greatly benefit from it.
Originally from Sydney, Australia, author Mykey Robinson is now based in London where he hosts a 6-week Forgiveness Workshop based on his book. Mykey says, “I am passionate about restoring relationships and seeing people get reconnected with each other.” Cheaper Than Therapy was just released on October 12th. You can purchase the paperback
Visit Mykey’s website: http://mykeyrobinson.com
Connect with Mykey on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MykeyRobinson
Follow Mykey on Twitter: https://twitter.com/getctt
View Mykey’s book trailer: http://youtu.be/kqNL3u3I7Wo