NEW COLUMN! Life is What You Make of It
My name is Serenity Dodd, I’m 16, and I live in Clifton, TN. My column will contain everything from poems to drawings as well as articles on life lessons learned, and making big decisions (hopefully the right decisions). I hope reading my column can bring a smile to your face, or help you through a hard time.
What I’ve Learned About Marriage… based on the Bible, what my parents and other mentors have taught me, as well as a few Marriage Sermons.
Through the years I’ve learned a lot about marriage. I’m not saying I’m Miss Marriage 101 or anything, seeing as I’m not married or even close to being married anytime soon. But my mom read this and agreed so it’s got to be somewhat right.
One important thing I’ve learned about marriage is that it cannot survive if the couple doesn’t have the same faith or morals. I’ve also learned that there are many keys to keeping a marriage healthy. The most important of these is God. God is what holds the house, the family, and the marriage together. He has to be the center of your life even if you’re married or not. As I said there are many things that keep a marriage healthy, some being commitment, friendship, passion, sacrifice and submission.
Commitment is important to any relationship, because if one person or neither have commitment, your relationship won’t last, and will probably end badly especially if you had sex with that person. You brought intimacy into a relationship that was set for failure. Commitment is a vital key. You most likely won’t know someone is committed to you right when you meet; they probably won’t even know if they want to commit or not. Commitment can be shown by the test of time.
Another key that unlocks a successful marriage is friendship. If you are not friends with your spouse then your marriage will become lonely. A marriage thrives on friendly communication. When a couple can talk about anything, and can carry on a conversation in a non sexual way. Then there will be less feuds and a lot more understanding, trust and reliability in their relationship.
This is where passion comes in. this is the most intimate key in a relationship. Sex is meant to be between a man and his wife. The world makes it out like sex is ok for everyone, anytime or place. Like there isn’t any commitment involved or friendship needed. Like there won’t be any strings attached. Or it’s only for pleasure, none of this is true. When two people have sex out of wedlock it opens the doors for unwanted pregnancies, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, and depression. If people would just wait until God shows them the right person everything would be so much better for them. There would always be somebody to stand beside you when you most need comfort or reassurance. Sex is a powerful thing that becomes even more powerful with God’s approval.
Now other than that you need sacrifice. Give and take is a good key. Your marriage will not be joyful if one spouse is doing all the giving and not receiving anything in return. Sacrifice can be shown in many ways. For example, a man watching a movie with his wife, instead of the game that’s on the other channel that night. Or in another case, the wife cooks his favorite dinner even if she does not enjoy it as much. These might seem small, but it’s the little things that count when the big things go wrong. These little acts can keep a marriage growing as well as heal a broken one. Sacrifices can be given in a much more personal way to, given in ways of comfort or resolve.
Submission is last but surely not least. Submission is truly an important key in marriage. If a couple cannot submit to each other, then there is pride. Pride is a sin and can be a serious road block in marriage. Each spouse is to be equal in the marriage. This cannot be accomplished if one spouse is making all the rules and decisions without the others consult. These are a few things that can help your marriage, as well as your decision on waiting to have sex until marriage.
Also I just want to say that I’m not trying to make the people who have had sex before marriage feel bad. Because even if you might not be a physical virgin, all you have to do is ask God to forgive you for your sins and you will be cleaned and washed anew.