Ashley’s Column: My Crazy Wacky Life

by Ashley Cline



When I was younger, I was terrified of dogs. Down right, deathly terrified, of dogs. Our neighbors have dogs, you see, and at night they would bark at their fence facing our house, all night long. Those dogs gave me nightmares, so I became terrified of them.

Now that you know why I’m terrified, let me tell you a funny story.

When I was about 5 or 6 years old, my family was driving back from West Virginia, and we stopped at a rest area. The rest area has a tall, mountain walkway that we would run up and down on to tire out. Well, I was at the top of the hill, when I looked down. Coming up the hill was a lady, walking her dog. (Big dog, to a little kid!) I immediately had to get off of the hill. I started to race down, going a long precarious way far away from the dog. The whole time I was running, I was panting out, “D-O-G D-O-G D-O-G” over and over, spelling the thing I feared most! I finally got to the bottom, where my mom and dad were waiting, and of course heard me spelling dog while I ran from it. It’s kind of been a funny little tale of ours ever since.

Heart Break Alley

Fear not, this is not a terribly sad story!

When I was 7, I participated in games with our church group, called AWANA. I was in their group, Sparks, at that time. We were playing a game, called train, where you’d grab the vest of the person in front of you, and race around a big circle. Well, as we were running, I tripped and hit my head on the floor. So, of course, I wasn’t feeling to great that night.

We were in our classrooms and I had an ice pack on my head. A boy in our class, named Chandler, came over to me. He said he liked me. Of course, spirits are brightened by true love!  But, I asked him why he liked me. He gave me three reasons:
1) Your hair
My hair was extremely long at the time, and is still extremely thick.
2) Your eyes
I used to have bright blue eyes, but they’ve now turned kind of dimmer.
3) Your Fishy
That night I had a rainbow fish painted on my cheek! Since then, it has been washed off.

Well, the next week, I came back with my hair, chopped off to my shoulders, and of course, my little fishy was gone. He never spoke to me since, so I guess that wasn’t true love.

Help! I’m in Pompeii and I can’t get out!

At our amusement park, there’s a ride called, “Escape From Pompeii”, where you go up in a boat and watch Pompeii burn and fall, literally! Then you drop down a tall slope into the water! It’s my favorite ride! One day my friends and I were getting on. I told my friend Deanna, “Last time I was here, this thing got stuck. I wasn’t on it, but I saw the people on it!” Mistake! She and I sat in the front row, while our other friends were in the back. We rode through fine, until we heard a person speaking on an intercom. “msdjfjhklliei jlkjsdlk kjlkslk” is what it sounded like. Well, we get to the doors to the drop, they open, and we stop and so does the music….  I jinxed us! We’d stopped right before the drop. I looked out, and planned my escape (just like in Bathroom Blues). The ride suddenly started up, and we started to drop, without water going down the slope! I was sure we were going to die! Say goodbye to me!  Thankfully, we escaped, unharmed, but didn’t ride that ride the rest of the summer.

Look! It’s Rudolph!

I’ve had my learner’s permit for a while, and was still a beginner when this happened. I had been at a movie night at my church, and my dad was picking me up. We went outside and I hopped in the drivers seat of my bright red Dodge Durango. (I’m about 5.5ft tall, so this thing is huge!) It’s pitch black, and I’m driving down our looping roads, past rows of tall corn. I’m talking to my dad, when suddenly, a deer bolts out from behind some stalks! Before I can stop, it hits, and has a moment to fly.

As I look back to where it landed after flying over my hood, I almost wreck! My dad grabs the wheel, and I decide to stay quiet the rest of the trip. That deer had huge antlers, but surprisingly, my car came out just fine.

Happy Halloween from Ashley!

Ashley is a 16-year-old, junior who enjoys candy, fall, and dressed as a Beach Baby her first Halloween.

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