We homeschooled our children right through grade 12 and now they are both college graduates. Homeschooling works! While our oldest, Amber, was a teen she composed these 2 humorous top ten lists which we’ve updated for 2011. They were a hit when printed in our support group’s newsletter, even among the most conservative families. Maybe you can use them in your publication. ~Wendy Westfall

[Thanks, Wendy, here they are!]


By Amber Westfall Hillanbrand

10. Watching Sponge Bob Square Pants will count for Science.
9. There were high-school Book-It certificates good for Surf-and-Turf at any TGI Fridays.
8. Your parents will finally understand that rock concerts ARE educational.
7. The Librarians will STOP calling you by name.
6. Those hot, home-schooled Jonas Brothers will move next door
5. At rollerskating Cubby the Bear would meet his demise
4. All foreign language courses would include a month’s vacation in that country.
3. You can finally “sew” a skirt that comes ABOVE your knees.
2. Mom will let you see “Twilight” without bringing her along.
1. All SAT’s would be administered by Jack Black.


By Amber Westfall Hillanbrand

10. If you talk back to the teacher, she’ll spank you.
9. Your parents will require that your date must have an SAT score over 1,500.
8. Another trip to the Crayola Factory!
7. You’ll have to write a 20 page report on the chemical composition of Play Dough.
6. You’ll have to bunk with your sister because your room has been converted into a library.
5. When you get your first car, your mom makes you plaster on the bumper-sticker saying “Homeschoolers Kick Hind Quarters”.
4. Your parents will restrict your dates only to educational activities.
3. Your mom will trade in your Black Eyed Peas CD for “Sven Svenson Yodels The Lord’s Prayer in Seven Languages” at the thrift store.
2. Your mom will have ANOTHER baby.
1. Your parents will turn Amish and move to Lancaster.


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  1. Those lists were hysterical!!! This young lady is a talented writer, so clever. I am going to send this to every homeschooler I know, my own four children were homeschooled and one is working on her PHD now!
    Thanks for the laughs!!!

  2. These are so funny and totally true! As a girl being homeschooled from kindergarten through highschool I can totally relate and wish my SATs were administered by Jack Black!

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